No matter how hard it is to watch and experience, it seems to be in the best interests to allow people to fail, starting with children. While it may seem counterintuitive, it’s one of the best things a parent can do. According to Dr. Stephanie O’Leary, a clinical psychologist specializing in neuropsychology and author of “Parenting in the Real World: The Rules Have Changed”.
Failure is good and healthy for kids on several levels. First, experiencing failure helps your child learn to cope, a skill that’s certainly needed in the real world. It also provides him or her with the life experience needed to relate to peers in a genuine way.
Being challenged also instills the need for hard work and sustained efforts, and also demonstrates that these traits are valuable even without the blue ribbon, gold star, or top score.
Over time, children who have experienced defeat will build resilience and be more willing to attempt difficult tasks and activities because they are not afraid to fail. And, she says, rescuing your child sends the message that you don’t trust him or her. “Your willingness to see your child struggle communicates that you believe they are capable and that they can handle any outcome, even a negative one,” she says.
I remember being an adult and I was roped into playing “Candyland” with one of my cousins kids. The child kept losing and my aunt was telling me to allow her granddaughter to win at “Candyland”. If you remember “Candyland” there is no way to tank the game. You move to the next color square that is on your card. It is pure luck, there is no skills involved. Other than learning how to be a good winner of a good loser.
But this is the extremes that some go to now see others fail.